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wThursday, June 22, 2006



Al-Fatihah

Baba
Baba, with Mak, Bro and Mak Uda.

Baba has passed away. I didn't know about it until my sister Nani called my office.

At first I didn't cry. I asked my boss if I could be excused. I cried outside my office. I cried thinking of the memories I had of him when I was young. He's always been supportive of me. Most important thing of all, he had accepted the fact that he has a queer for a son. We never talked about it, but he knew. I guess mak told him about me. One of the biggest fear I had as a teen was his reaction to me being a queer. He had accepted me for who I am. I can't him enough for that. And for that, I thank God for bestowing upon me that best father a man like me could ever have.

Funny how this morning I thought what will I do if Baba passed away when Dia is not around. I called him just now to tell him that Baba has passed away. I cried. I told that there's only two people in the world that could make me cry by just using their words against me; him and Baba. I told him how much I wish that he could be here with me right now.

I'll be heading back to JB. Boboy will drive. He has a few more exams to take. I don't know how he's going to deal with that, but I'll help him if he needs to talk to his lecturer to explain things to him.

I just hope that he knew how much I loved him.


posted by Nizam Zakaria at 5:46 PM |




wWednesday, June 21, 2006



Choreography for Non-Choreographers at Central Market - 7

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Bring it on!

Choreography for Non-Choreographers at Central Market - 8

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Cak!

Choreography for Non-Choreographers at Central Market - 9

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Makan!

Choreography for Non-Choreographers at Central Market - 10

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Front page of NST today; Rude cities: KL ranks third. Oh, surprise, surprise! The city that came in first is New York. No surprises there. I still can't forget how nice the New Yorkers were to me. There were times when I was completely lost in the city; there were no shortage of New Yorkers who would show me the way through the subway system or to places of interest.

"Courtesy is not big in Asia, either. Every city on that continent tested, with the exception of Hong Kong, finished in the bottom 10."

True, how very true. Yet we are brainwashed to think how courteous, 'sopan', 'berhemah', 'kuat berpegang dengan agama dan adat-adat ketimuran' we are compared to the West. The truth is, most of us are rude and 'kurang ajar'. Most of us Asians are not used to the concept of smiling to strangers. We hardly greet each other. As a runner in the States, I was compelled to say 'hi' or 'hello' to fellow runners. In this country, they always look the other way as if I'm planning to rob them.





posted by Nizam Zakaria at 12:57 PM |




wTuesday, June 20, 2006



Choreography for Non-Choreographers at Central Market - 3

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Choreography for Non-Choreographers at Central Market - 4

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Kita mulakan sesi tarian kali ini dengan bacaan doa...

Choreography for Non-Choreographers at Central Market - 5

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'Pop!'

Choreography for Non-Choreographers at Central Market - 6

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The L Word roadshow is in town


posted by Nizam Zakaria at 1:03 PM |




wMonday, June 19, 2006



Choreography for Non-Choreographers at Central Market - 1

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Choreography for Non-Choreographers at Central Market - 2

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Rohaizad with Fahmi Fadzil

I went to BB with Rohaizad and Rozaimi last Saturday. BB was a bummer. A boring place to be - at least to me (I hated the music). And since Rohaizad wanted to meet up with Vernon at Liquid, we ditched the idea of staying longer at BB. Rozaimi had to go home. His bf didn't like the idea of them separating. He wanted Rozaimi to stay with him all the time, it seems.

I just love Liquid. I can actually dance to the music played over there. I had a good time at Liquid of course. I simply love the retro music that the DJ was playing on the first floor of the club. Can you imagine dancing to the tune of Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood? It was simply divine, I tell you!

A person handed me a business card (he's a lawyer - when I was walking out of the toilet) and another guy wanted to get to know me while Rohaizad and I was minding our own business at the bar. We just smiled 'layan' him here and there while trying hard to be tactful.

Saw a few really gorgeous Malay boys at Liquid. A few of them came with their non-Malay (read: Chinese) friends or BFs.

On Sunday, Rohaizad and I went to Central Market to see a few of our friends (Pang Kee Teik, Vernon Emuang and Kiew Suet Kim, etc) performed several dance routines to the public (Choreography for Non-Choreographers). This is Workshop #2 of the Krishen Jit Experimental Workshop Series 2006. It was okay lah. What was not okay was when a few guys actually cruised me. One guy actually took the trouble to talk to me and sat next to me even when I was trying so hard to avoid him. I thought that he was not bad looking lah, to tell you the truth. But I was just not interested. Rohaizad SMS-ed me to ask me if I wanted him to rescue me. Hell yes! And he did, thank God. Rohaizad and Pang approached me to ask me to join them at Liquid, which I gladly said yes.

I must be giving out the 'I'm single and available' (or perhaps, 'I'm single and desperate') vibe to these people. This is fine if I'm looking around for a relationship. But I'm not. I'm just not ready yet - at least for the next half a year or so.

--

My ex said, If I have the patience, God will answer my prayers. I hope he does. I hope he that listens to my prayers.


posted by Nizam Zakaria at 12:54 PM |