I hide under my table. This morning. Crying. I thought there's nothing much I could do with my life. I wonder if God really listen to me. Really, even when I was driving to work this morning I thought about this. I even thought about Bruce Almighty of all things.
My friend asked me what I was doing hiding under the table. I wiped my tears and told him that there was something wrong with my handphone.
I think I'm too old to cry like this. But I cried knowing that I have no control over my own life. That no matter how much I tried, nothing seems to change.
I finally manage to go on with my life without smoking. If I can do this, I think I should be able to realise that I shouldn't live in the past. I shouldn't allow the ghost of the person I love to haunt me further, because he has changed. He is not the same person I used to love. I just want to wish him well. I hope that he will find the happiness he is looking for.
I'm going for my medical check up tomorrow. The doctor will scan for my kidney stone again. I know it's there. I can feel it. Especially in the morning. I hope it has cleared up, so I don't have to go through any painful procedure.
My Sis Nani is coming back to JB today with Tom and my niece, Emma. They will be flying from Minneapolis. It will be a long flight home for them.