I am down with anger and moodiness this couple of days. I hate this feeling. As if there's a monster in me that's about to explode.
I feel like my hands and feet are being tied up. Which is true in many ways. I don't feel free, when freedom is what I seek.
I am thinking of “ luck be an old lady” - an episode of Sex and the City. In this particular episode, the girls went to Atlantic City to relax and all. Later in the show, Samantha made a decision to leave her boyfriend Richard because she can't bear worrying whether he's fucking behind her back (or not). She told Richard that she loves him but she loves herself more. She leaves behind the mega diamond ring and the pearl thong he just gave her and walks out the door.
I wonder if I can ever be like Samantha... I wonder if I could ever love myself that much.